Merry Grinchmas

As a kid, you tend to watch the same movies over and over…especially during the holidays. Whether it’s National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Bill Murray’s Scrooged, or the for-some-reason-not-Oscar-nominated-masterpiece Elf, you can’t help but watch them every year. The one that never ceases to put me in the Christmas spirit is Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Jim Carrey’s version is great, but I’m talking about Chuck Jones’ 1966 cartoon classic. Do you remember it? Think back at The Grinch’s evil yet hilarious mug. Not to mention his innocent reindeer-dog Max. His reckless and heart-breaking attack on Whoville is vile and oh so clever.

I know you’ve all heard the song “Mr. Grinch” but have you listened to the lyrics? The metaphors are poetry….I recommend you read below. Some of these lines are perfection…my personal fav? “Your brain is full of spiders…you’ve got garlic in your soul…”

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel

You're as cuddly as a cactus

You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch

Your heart's an empty hole

Your brain is full of spiders

You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch

You have termites in your smile

You have all the tender sweetness

Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch

Given a choice between the two of you

I'd take the seasick crocodile

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch

You're the king of sinful sots

Your heart's a dead tomato

Splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch

You're a three decker sauerkraut and

Toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch

With a nauseous super "naus"

You're a crooked dirty jockey

And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch

Your soul is an appalling dump heap

Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment

Of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch

You're a nasty wasty skunk

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote

"Stink, stank, stunk!"

Merry Christmas!!

-One Love